Just For The Hell Of It (2006 BRB Entries)

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Just For The Hell Of It (2006 BRB Entries)

Post  Stan Daniels on Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:20 am

REPOST for Carnage

They may not be Legendary Rewrites, but they got me through my first ever BRB so I thought I'd share them for shits and giggles.


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Part 1: Bunyan Falls Showdown: Carnage vs. Shotgun X


Bunyan Falls, the historic landmark where the legend Paul Bunyan called home. This was where Carnage was now residing. He had been in town for a couple of days, and already he was ready to leave. Not that the town wasn't homey, but if you were to walk ten feet in any direction, you would be in the next town. It was just that small. Ok, maybe that was exaggerating just a tad, but the town was really not that big. Plus, the only thing in the town was Paul Bunyan memorbilia. Not much of a interesting tourist attraction, but that is why they called on the Wrassle. To make sure they could draw more business with some of the more famous faces in wrassling today. This town and some of the more interesting businesses around town, were to be the host of several Bar Room Brawl Matches. One match in particular stood out though in which Shotgun X from the DRW would take on Carnage from the NGPW. That match was set at Joe Lucas West World. It was a cowboy supply shop and furniture store, but with one very exciting addition. Well, exciting to the resident town folk. A brand spankin new rope department, with all kinds of ropes to choose from. Nylon Rope, Polypro twist Rope, Crabbing Rope, Boat Rope, and of course Chain Rope. Those were just a few of the kinds of rope they had. Yes, this town was considered the life of the party. Forget Chi town, this was the place to be. Not to mention the large wooden corpse shaped like Paul Bunyan sitting in the center of town. This building houses a museum displaying the final days of Paul Bunyan. Now that is something you can proudly take the kids to. I am sure they'd love to learn all about him marrying a sasquatch, or learn about his journey into the deep dark abyss of alcoholism. Yes kids, step right up and have beer while you listen to tales of humpin a bigfoot. But I digress, the Carnage vs. Shotgun X match was next on the docket. Sitting in a production truck monitoring all the matches, were Philly Fats and Burnt. They were announcing the whole days worth of action sitting in the safety and comfort of the vehicle. They had several monitors set up with each location being used for matches.

Philly: I have to tell ya Burnt, I never knew old people could be used in such brutal ways.

Burnt: Yeah, when Lyonell threw Alexei into that old man's bedpan, I thought I would throw up.

Philly: I don't think it would of been so bad if it wasn't for the old timer using it at the time. Yuck. In any case, it is now time for our next contest. This one brings two people back together after about a month. In one corner we have Shotgun X from the DRW.

Burnt: Now let me tell you something about this guy. From what I have heard and seen, I believe he could be a force to be reckoned with in the future of Wrassle. He was able to step up to the plate and prove to Sallaz that he belongs in this event.

Philly: That he did Burnt. And I believe you're right about this guy. Even though he has been in this business a long time, I think the best is yet to come. But for that to happen, he must get through Carnage of the NGPW.

Burnt: Carnage, now that's a name you don't see in these types of events very often. In fact, this is the very first time he has ever entered a Bar Room Brawl event. Seven years in the business and not once has he ever seemed interested in this type of event. Personally, I am glad to see him here. It is about time he gets himself noticed as his long career winds down.

Philly: Of course don't forget to mention that Carnage left the DRW not all that long ago. So he knows Shotgun X pretty well already. This should be a good contest. Let's go back to earlier today and catch some prematch comments both men made to Basketcase.

Video footage started rolling and on the screen sitting in a rocking chair outside of West World was Shotgun X. In his hand he had a lasso. Basketcase was standing across from him with his questions ready.

Basketcase: Shotgun X, welcome to Bunyan Falls.

Shotgun X: Thank you, nice to be here. Well, it's nice to be anywhere besides the DRW at this moment. Not to say I don't like it there, but I can always use a little time away from time to time.

Basketcase: Oh definitly, but this isn't just a vacation for you. Today you will enter this very store and do battle with Carnage. A man you know a little about.

Shotgun X: Exactly, I know about the man because I used to fight alongside the man. You see it wasn't all that long ago that he was in the DRW. There was a time when we were going to team up together and he was going to accept me into the fold as a Walking Legend. But then he got the call from above. A higher power that was willing to shell out the big bucks. And as they say in this world, "Money talks and bull#$@ walks."

Basketcase: So are you bitter that he just up and left?

Shotgun X: I would be lying if I said I wasn't at first. But now I realize that I would of done the same thing had it been me instead of him. You see, things in the DRW weren't all that great when he left. Things were falling apart at the seams. Now though it's shaping up to be better than ever. I am sure he is looking back and regretting leaving the ship before it sank, cause it never fully sank. In fact, all the dead weight has been removed and now its starting to float back to the top.

Basketcase: Seeing as this isn't the first time you have faced him, have you learned anything from your previous experience in the ring with him?

Shotgun X: Oh for sure. You don't step into the ring with a man like that and not learn something. He is aggressive. He sees an opportunity and takes it. He doesn't hesitate when the time comes to finish a match. If I am to beat him today, I have to be one step ahead of him at all times. Cause when you make a mistake against this man, chances are it's your last.

Basketcase: It sounds like you have alot of respect for Carnage.

Shotgun X: Make no mistake about it. I do have respect for the man, but don't go mistaking that respect for loyalty. Sure once upon a time I would of remained loyal and stood by his side, but things change. Today, it's all about me, Shotgun X. Today, I am the one that takes his rightful place in history. Today, I start the long road to the top. Today, Carnage goes down for the count. I have respect, and today I am respectfully going to send him back home.

Basketcase: One more thing before I end this. I see you have a lasso in your hand. Any comments on what you intend to do with it?

Shotgun X: Come on now, if I told you that, you'd have nothing to look forward to. Let me put it to you like this. This store has itself a rope section. And in that rope section is a wide variety of the finest ropes known to man. I intend to use that to my advantage. Including this little number. I am a bit of a cowboy afterall, and I do know how to use a rope. Carnage is in for a long day.

Basketcase: Thank you for your time Shotgun. And I wish you the best of lucky today.

The footage changed over from Shotgun X, to Carnage in a matter of seconds. Carnage was in the Paul Bunyan Museum along with Basketcase. They were walking along looking at the different exhibits as they talked about the match.

Basketcase: As you can see fans, I am here with Carnage from the NGPW. We are currently in the Paul Bunyan museum taking a look at his rich history and spiraling downfall. Carnage, why did you wanna conduct this from here?

Carnage: Why? Oh come now Basketcase. Look around. It's Bunyan Falls. The home of Paul Bunyan. You can't ask for more than that. Paul Bunyan was a hero of mine as a kid. Look at all of the interesting tidbits about him. I mean he married a saquatch for goodness sakes. That takes balls. Big ones at that. I respect any man that can get up in the morning, bend over, and take one for the team. Wait a minute, was it a male or female sasquatch?

Basketcase: Ummmm, well I think it was a......you know I am not quite sure about that one myself.

Carnage: Well whatever. He also discovered america, and that is something to be proud of.

Basketcase: Uhhhhh Carnage.........

Carnage: And he was the first man to walk on the moon, and I think in connection to that he invented moon pies, not to be confused with cow pies which were invented a few years later.

Basketcase: Carnage that wasn't.........

Carnage: Oh oh oh, and wasn't he the one that made the refridgerator light come on when you open the door? Oh man, he saved us all so many years of rooting around in the darkness looking for thet perfect slice of ham.

Basketcase: Carnage, none of those things have anything to do with Paul Bunyan.

Carnage: Oh, so then why are we here again? Oh yes, cause the world of Wrassle wanted this town to flourish. Look, if I can be serious for a moment. I don't know much about Paul Bunyan. I never cared to learn about the legend. The only reason I am here is to do something I have never done before. And that's win the Bar Room Brawl. The first person in my way as you know is Shotgun X.

Basketcase: I talked to him earlier, and he seems pretty confident.

Carnage: No kidding, and here I thought he would come out with a white flag and surrender. Of course he's confident. You have to be in an event like this. An event where the whole world is watching. But you see, I know the man. I worked with the man. I have beaten the man. This is not going to be an easy match by any stretch of the imagination, but as anyone who has followed my career knows, I am not going to go out their without a few tricks up my sleeve.

Basketcase: So you are saying whatever it takes to win?

Carnage looks at Basketcase deadly serious. Not one hint of joking left in his eyes.

Carnage: I always do whatever it takes to win Basketcase. Make no mistake, when this is all over, it will be Carnage going on to round two. Now do I look like I am joking?

And with that final thought, the footage ends and we are sent back to a live feed from the production truck Burnt and Philly are in calling the days action.

Burnt: These two look to be ready. Carnage taking his usual smart assed approach to things, up untill the time comes to be serious that is. And of course Shotgun X going for the straight forward approach to things.

Philly: Indeed Burnt. Hold on, I just received word that Carnage has made his way to West World. Let's go to our live camera feed and watch.

Carnage walked up to the West World entrance. He was very cautious in doing so, he had no intention of being jumped from behind. Residents of Bunyan Falls, as well as tourists, were gathered around having seen the cameras shooting the action. This was all new to them and they were curious as to the happenings. Carnage slowly made his way to the doors. They were glass doors, so he could see inside the store. Once he was close enough, he noticed Shotgun X inside smiling. He had that lasso with him, and the appointed ref was right next to him. Carnage opened the door and walked inside. He approached the two men and never took his eyes off of Shotgun.

Shotgun X: So nice of you to finally join us Carnage. I thought for sure you were going to turn tail and run.

Carnage: Oh yeah, cause that's just like me. Yeah, I am sure that is what you thought. Look, can we get on with this. I have a night planned on Bunyan sized drinking.

Shotgun X: To get over the beating I am going to give you no doubt.

Carnage: I don't remember you being this negative towards me back in the DRW.

Shotgun X: Things change Carnage. Ever since you left, I have had an awakening. I've seen my future Carnage. And it holds many bright things. One of which is this tournament. So sorry you can't stick around and watch.

Carnage: Sure I can, their are tv's everywhere. All I'd have to do is.............

Before Carnage could finish that statement, Shotgun X dropped his lasso and delivered a stiff right hand to Carnage's jaw. Taking him by surprise, Carnage wasn't able to respond to yet another shot. Then another one. Shotgun X took a quick step back and clotheslined Carnage to the hard ground. People that were in the store stopped what they were doing and made sure to stay out of the way.

Philly: You know I was just thinking. Did somebody forget to tell them to close the store to the public today? I mean this is not exactly a safe environment for citizens.

Burnt: I can't for sure say, but I do know that this match will be alot more interesting now. Oh my goodness, look at Shotgun go to town on Carnage. I guess Carnage opened his mouth one time to many.

Shotgun had started to put the boots to Carnage. And to put it in terms that were a bit more painful, Shotgun X had decided to wear cowboy boots. The tips of them digging deep into Carnage's abdomen.

Shotgun X: Listen to them spuuuuuuurssss as they jingle, jangle, jingleeeeeeeeeeee!

Shotgun grabbed Carnage by the hair and lifted him back up. He walked him over to the saddle department. He went to throw Carnage into them, but Carnage reversed it. Shotgun's back hit hard against one of the saddles. Carnage looked over and saw something bright and shiney. He grabbed it and jabbed it right into Shotgun X's gut. He then waffled him on the back of the head, and Shotgun went down like a ton of bricks.

Philly: Carnage just nailed Shotgun X with a horseshoe. That could of killed him.

Burnt: Definitly, although I don't think Carnage used the force neccessary to kill a man. Just enough to knock him loopy. Carnage now going for the cover, but Shotgun is able to get his shoulder up. Look at the people starting to crowd around Philly. I think this plan is working and the town of Bunyan Falls is going to be on everyone's lips in the morning.

Philly: Nothing in this world is stronger than word of mouth Burnt. I can't believe Shotgun was able to get his shoulder up after that horseshoe. I guess it's way to early for a pin even with blunt trauma to the head.

Carnage got back to his feet and looked around. He saw one of the patrons wearing a cowboy hat. He walked over to him.

Carnage: Howdy partna, mind if I borrow this for a minute.

Carnage grabbed the hat off of his head and put it on his own.

Carnage: You don't have lice do ya? Just kidding.....but you don't right?

Carnage smiled as the scared patron shook his head no. Who was gonna dare argue with either Carnage or Shotgun X on this day? If they wanted something, they were going to have it. Shotgun had started to stir a bit. He was reaching to the back of his head to see if he was bleeding. Sure enough he had a smudge of blood on his fingertips. He turned over onto his stomach and got on his hands and knees. That's when he felt Carnage lay into him with a kick to the face. Carnage then reached over and grabbed a saddle. He knelt down and strapped it to Shotgun's back. He then grabbed a jockey stick and mounted Shotgun X.

Carnage: YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW! Ridem Cowpoke.

Philly: Carnage is riding Shotgun like Seattle Slew. And look, he is even whipping Shotgun with that stick getting him to move around and buck. I don't think I have seen anything quite like this before, but then again I probably have.

Burnt: Shotgun just bucked Carnage right off of him. I had a feeling that was going to happen if he kept getting hit hard enough. I think Carnage hit his head on a nearby countertop.

Indeed Carnage had nailed his head. This gave Shotgun X ample time to get that saddle off of his back, and get back to his feet. Carnage was trying to shake the cobwebs loose. He rolled over and started to get back up, when the lasso Shotgun had earlier found it's way onto Carnage's ankle. Shotgun X yanked on the rope, and it tightened around Carnage's foot. He started to drag Carnage with all of his strength. It was difficult for Carnage to reach down and undo the rope with him constantly on the move. Shotgun continued to drag Carnage untill he got to the place he wanted to be. Their was a wall full of animal heads hung up. Shotgun threw the other end of the lasso around a moosehead and started yanking Carnage up. Eventually, Carnage ended up upseide down hanging from the moosehead. Shotgun tied the end of the rope off and Carnage was helpless.

Burnt: Carnage in a bit of trouble here. I see some major payback coming.

Philly: Oh yeah, if Carnage can't get out of this soon, I am afraid their will be too much damage for him to come back from. Oh oh, I think we may have a problem here. Shotgun has found where they keep the whips. Man they have everything in this store. He is stalking Carnage now. Showing him that whip and making him anticipate what's coming.

Burnt: He is ripping off Carnage's shirt. Oh this is going to leave a mark.

The shirt came off and Carnage was dangling like a fly in a spiderweb. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Shotgun X went around to Carnage's back and measured him up. With the first swing, he didn't use all of his power. Just enough to give Carnage a small taste of what's to come. Carnage could be heard yelping as pain as the first lash was connected. The patrons watching on all winced in pain. Some of the parents with small children decided that this wasn't something for them to be seeing, and left. Once again Shotgun wound up and this time he used a bit more power. The snap could be heard throughout the whole store. Carnage cried out once more. Shotgun had a gleam in his eye and a song in his heart.

Shotgun X: You know, I could get used to this. How about you Carnage? Think this is a bit too much for ya, all you have to do is say so. Just say the three magic words "I Give Up" and this can all end.

Carnage: %$#@ YOU!

Shotgun X: That was only two words, and not even close to the words I was referring to. Their are christians and parents here Carnage, please be careful of what you say.

Carnage: When I get down from here, you are gonna wish you said those words already.

Shotgun X: Yeah, like that is going to happen.

WHAPPPPPP!!!!!! Shotgun used every ounce of strength he had on that one. The marks on Carnage's back started to turn into deep cuts. People were getting sick at the sight and more and more people started filing out of the store.

Philly: So much for word of mouth. The only word from here on in is, "Stay The Hell Away From Bunyan Falls".

Burnt: I don't know about all of that. It's morbid curiousity that brings in alot of the people. If they think that this sort of things goes on all of the time, you might be surprised as how many people will show up. Of course alot of those people might be undesirables, but hey they never specified what kind of tourists they wanted. We delivered and thats all that matters.

Carnage was almost passed out from the pain. He was going in and out slowly. He knew that if he passed out completely, the match would be called and Shotgun X would be declared the winner. He searched around quickly hoping to find something that would help him out. Then he saw it. A fire extinguisher within arms length. The trick of it was though, how could he get it and use it without being stopped. He thought about it as Shotgun took another shot on his back with the whip. The surge of pain was like a wake up call and a plan formulated. Carnage waited patiently as Shotgun got ready to strike once more.

Shotgun X: You know, this could end up career ending for you. I would hate to see such a thing considering how old you are. Then again, maybe it is time for you to retire. Oh well, let's find out.

Shotgun X wound up and then went for a finishing blow that would of surely put Carnage out of it for good. Carnage quickly turned his body and reached out grabbing the end of the whip. He held onto it tightly as Shotgun tried to pull it out of his hand. Shotgun used all of his might to pull, and Carnage quickly released his grip causing Shotgun to fall backwards into a stack of ammo. Carnage turned towards the fire extinguisher and grabbed it. As Shotgun was getting back up and a bit disoriented, Carnage sprayed the contents into Shotgun's face, blinding him momentarily. Carnage used the opportunity. He reached into his jeans and pulled out his pocket knife. He then used all of his strength to bend himself upwards towards the part of the lasso around his ankles. He cut away at it for a moment, till it came loose and he fell free from its confines. Shotgun X was still trying to get his vision back, and had no idea what was going on. Carnage, still very much hurting, crawled away from the scene and out of view.

Burnt: Carnage is free. Nice move by the old timer. But where is he going?

Philly: The man is basicly near death, he probably has to have some sort of breather. His skin was just ripped from his back, I would say he's earned it.

Burnt: That is what these events are all about. Flesh ripping from the bone. Bones cracking under the stress of the fight. You gotta be one of the toughest SOB's in the world to survive a tourney like this.

Philly: Well, Carnage didn't give up even under those extreme circumstances. I think that qualifies him as being one tough customer.

Shotgun X finally got most of his vision back, and was pissed. He started to storm around the store looking for Carnage. He was tossing over tables, and throwing chairs. He was pushing cutomers and workers, challenging any man, woman, or child who got in his way.

Shotgun X: Ok, who saw him? Where is he? I know he has to be around here somewhere. COME OUT YOU CHICKEN @#!$! Come on people, give up the ghost. You know you wanna see me win this thing. Hey you....yes I said you.

Shotgun looked over and walked up to a little girl sucking on a lollypop. He got right in her face.

Shotgun X: You there, I know you know something. And I know that you know that I know that they know that we know that I know you know, so start talking.

Little Girl: Lolly?

The little girl held out her lollypop for Shotgun X. He looked down at it, then back at her. Then once again down at the lolly.

Shotgun X: You win this round, but I have got my eye on you.

Philly: I think Shotgun is kinda losing it.

Burnt: This match is definitly taking it's toll on both men that's for sure. And Carnage is still missing in action.

That little known fact wasn't a fact for very long. As Shotgun neared the back of the store near the rope section, he saw a quick flash and fell to the ground with a blinding pain on his forehead. Carnage had come out of nowhere and nailed him with a shovel. Blood was now coming down Shotgun's temple. Carnage dropped the shovel and dropped down for the pin. The ref was out of position at first, but quickly got adjusted. Just as he was about to count the three, somehow Shotgun X kicked out. He had reached down deep inside of himself channeling some sort of inner energy. Now whether or not his mind was agreeing with his heart, that was a different story. Carnage was frusterated. He had hit the man with a damn shovel, yet he was still kicking out. Not something a normal man would do. Realizing he was near the rope section of the store, an idea came to him. He grabbed Shotgun X by the leg and started to drag him into the back of the store. Most of the people within the store had scattered, but a few of the more adventerous were following along every step of the way.

Philly: I think Carnage is trying to make his last stand Burnt. He now has Shotgun in the rope store. A place where you can find all brands of ropes to serve your every need. Yes come to West World and I garuntee you will leave satisfied.

Burnt: Is that really neccessary?

Philly: Uhhhhh considering the money we are getting to be here, I would say yes.

Burnt: You get money out of this deal?

Philly: Ummmmm, yes anyways back to the match. Carnage has made himself a hangman's noose. I am not liking where this is going. He is wrapping it around Shotgun's neck. He is tightening it. Carnage is choking the life out of Shotgun. I think the ref should stop this right about now. Look at the blood coming from Shotgun, that combined with the choking has to be too much even for him.

Burnt: This is just a little payback for the marks left on Carnage's back. Those won't heal overnight.

The ref went down into position to see if Shotgun X was able to continue or not. The life in his eyes was fading. The ref could tell he wouldn't stay conscious for long. Carnage wasn't letting up. He kept up the pressure making sure not to totally kill Shotgun. He just wanted to do enough damage to make him pass out. Shotgun continued to fight it though. He was either going to make it out of this, or die trying. Shotgun started kicking and flailing his arms hoping to connect with Carnage. No such luck though. Carnage lifted Shotgun up by the noose and started twirling him around and around. He then let go of the noose and Shotgun went flying into a boat rope display. Once he realized he was free from Carnage's grasp, he loosened the noose and took it off of his neck. He took in deep breaths trying to get his wind back. Carnage stalked his way over, but got a kick to his family jewels for his troubles. Shotgun X slowly got back to his feet and grabbed Carnage by the hair. He led him through the throngs of people. He then hoisted him up onto his shoulder and powerslammed him through an old wooden table. One of the store workers ran up to the mess upset.

Sales Clerk: That was a priceless 19th century dining table. One of a kind, not another one in the world.

Shotgun X: Now you can sell it as 19th century firewood. The best part, their is now more than one.

Obviously not amused, the clerk took off to find the store manager. Their was really nothing he could do though. This was the deal struck between the town and the organization. Of course if there is nothing left of the town by the time this thing ends, then what will it all matter anyway. Shotgun wasn't going for the cover. He wanted to make Carnage pay and bleed. He ran over to the hardware section and grabbed a gun. Not just any gun though, a nailgun. Carnage was positioned right in front of the front store window. A couple of the witnesses to the massacre were trying to help Carnage to his feet.

Philly: Those people need to get out of the way. They have no business getting involved with this match. I don't care if they are Carnage supporters.

Burnt: We are not responsible for any innocent bystander getting hurt. The contracts were signed and that was made very clear from the get go. They get involved at their own risk.

Shots rang out and nails started flying through the air. One of the people helping Carnage was shot in the arm. Once that happened, they all scattered. Carnage was staggered on his feet. Then a sharp pain arose in his left shoulder. He looked over and saw the nail sticking out of it. As he went to try and yank it out, he felt another pain in his right leg. Yet another nail was delivered on target.

Shotgun X: They don't call me Shotgun for nothing.

Shotgun spit out a huge wad of blood. He then unloaded with nail after nail. Some missed and some hit. About five more nails made their way into Carnage's body. This caused him to jerk back, and like in an old western, Carnage went sailing backwards through the window to the outside of the store. He was motionless on the ground.

Burnt: Did you see that? Carnage looked like Clint Eastwood going through that window. Shards of glass everywhere, their is no way he is getting back up. This match is over.

Philly: Shotgun taking his own sweet time getting out there for the pin.

Burnt: He could go out for a few beers, then come back and it still wouldn't matter. Carnage is done, stick a fork in him.

All kinds of thoughts went through Carnage's mind. Thoughts on how he started his career. Thoughts on how he came to be in this event. Thoughts on his family and friends. Then thoughts on how smug Shotgun X must be right about now. The fact that he was about ready to cover Carnage really got to him. He knew he couldn't move by shear will power alone. He had to block out the pain. He had to mentally shut down every pain sensory. He then had to get his focus on his limbs. To make them do his bidding no matter what the cost. Carnage was going to give it one last go. If he ended up going down again, then he would admit defeat.

Philly: Shotgun finally climbing through that window. He's looking down at Carnage waiting for the ref. Here he comes now and Shotgun dropping down for the cover.

Ref: 1..........2.............................

In what had to be one of the longest two counts in the history of wrassling, Carnage managed to get his shoulder up and the crowd watching went wild. Not neccessarily because they were fans, but because of the shear determination and guts he showed.

Philly: I am speechless. Just speechless.

Shotgun was stunned and had to pinch himself. He dropped down again to make sure it wasn't a mistake, and once again Carnage got his shoulder up. Shotgun X would not be detered. He delivered a few well placed right hands into Carnage's temple. Both men were now a bloody mess and would definitly need some medical care after this one was over. Shotgun went for the cover once more, and this time hooked the leg. Again Carnage showed his determination. Having had just about enough, Shotgun arose back to his feet. He looked around and saw a pickup truck. He hobbled over to it and checked inside. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition. Leave it to some backwoods yokel to leave his keys in his car. Shotgun X climbed inside and shut the door. He started the engine and gave it a little gas. Carnage was now stirring, but not very quickly.

Burnt: Ok, now even I know when things are going a tad to far, and this is going a tad to far.

Philly: Their is no way he is going to do this. I mean he can't, he just can't.

The crowd of people around the store watched on with baited breath. Were they really going to see the complete and utter destruction of a human being? Shotgun X took the truck out of park and gave it some gas. The truck squealed it's tires and left a dust trail as it headed straight for Carnage. Carnage looked up and saw it barreling down on him. He was able to roll out of the way just in the knick of time. Shotgun was not satisfied though. He spun the truck around and continued on with his chase. Carnage was like a deer in the headlights. He hobbled his way back up and once again narrowly missed getting hit by Shotgun. This time he landed near the nailgun Shotgun had dropped from earlier.

Philly: Carnage is in trouble. I don't think he has enough in him to get away this time. Here comes Shotgun X with another pass. I don't think he is going to be satisfied untill their is a funeral.

Carnage waited patiently. He knew what he had to do and he only had one shot at it. Shotgun was sizing him up one more time and coming in at an incredible speed. Carnage grabbed the nailgun and took aim. He shot directly at Shotgun and the nail went through the windshield. It struck Shotgun's hand, and he lost his grip on the wheel. This cause the truck to swerve and barely miss Carnage once more. Once it passed him, Carnage took another shot and this time took out the front right tire. The truck took a nasty flip onto it's side and slid about 30 feet before stopping.

Philly: SHOTGUN X IS DEAD! I THINK WE HAVE SEEN AN OFFICIAL DEATH HERE TODAY!

Burnt: There is a crowd of people running for the truck to try and get him out before something worse happens. Look at Carnage, he is basicly dead himself, but he had to do what he had to do to survive. I think we need paramedics here stat.

Luckily stationed nearby were paramedics specially hired by wrassle for this type of situation. They rushed to the scene and too Shotgun X. Some of the crowd were pulling him out of the car through the driver side window. Most of the paramedics rushed over to help him, but a few went over to Carnage. He was in a state of shock. As the paramedics tried to help him up, he waved them off. He got himself back up to his feet. Nails sticking out of him, blood coming from more than one body part, he was a mess. He hobbled his way over to Shotgun. Slowly but surely he made his way over. The ref was in tow. The paramedics were trying to get Shotgun on a stretcher. Shotgun X was out cold. Carnage hovered over him and then put his foot on his chest. Everyone looked on stunned that Carnage would still insist on a pin, but he wanted to make it official. The ref went down for the cover.

Ref: 1........2.........3

Philly: Well thank merciful heaven that one is over. I don't know if anything can really top that outcome.

Burnt: I don't remember the last time someone went to those extremes to win a match. Shotgun X was getting desperate and it backfired on him. I just hope he is alright. I hope both of these men are alright.

Philly: Well one thing is for certain, neither man will ever be the same again.

Once the pin was made official, Carnage collasped. The paramedics started to work on both men immediatly. Meanwhile, the crowd gave the two men a standing ovation. A well deserved standing ovation. Now the question was, would Carnage be able to make the next round?

The End......Or Is It?

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Stan Daniels

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Re: Just For The Hell Of It (2006 BRB Entries)

Post  Stan Daniels on Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:21 am

Bunyan Falls Showdown Part 2: Carnage Vs. Switch Back

Bunyan Falls, a nice peaceful community. A place where folks could call home. A place where you could find a little slice of heaven in this world called hell. That is untill Wrassle showed up. The first round of the Bar Room Brawl had come and gone. Half the town was left in shambles. That's where Jack Keaton came into play. He was the local spin doctor for the mayor.

Jack: Yes mayor, I know. I understand completely...............Yes I saw his performance in round one and I am heading in their now to talk with him.......I am going to make sure of it. Ok.....bye.

Jack hung up his cell phone as he stood in front of the Bunyan Falls hospital. Inside was a man that had just gone through hell and back. A man that had multiple puncture wounds and bruised ribs. A man that stood in front of danger and never blinked. That man being Carnage.

Carnage: Ok doc, check out time. What's the damage?

Dr. Tibbs: Let me put it to you like this. You're not dead.

Carnage: Beautiful, that's always good to hear.

Dr. Tibbs: I am not kidding Ryan, these injuries are starting to take it's toll on you. Your ribs are bruised. You have all kinds of puncture wounds from the nails. You have multiple cuts and bruises. You have at least 30 stitches here and there. Going through with the rest of this tournament is not something I suggest doing.

Carnage: Look doc, I understand your concern. I really do, but I came all the way out here to win this thing, and that is exactly what I am gonna do.

Jack: Right on, now that is the fighting spirit I knew you had.

Jack Keaton comes walking up with his hand extended. Carnage looks down and seeing no threat, accepts the handshake.

Jack: The name is Jack Keaton, one of the mayors personal assistants. I am here to make sure the rest of this tournament runs smoothly. Well, at least your portion of it. Doctor, would you please be so kind as to sign Carnage out. We have a tournament to finish.

Dr. Tibbs: I still think this is a bad idea, but it's your choice to make.

Jack: Duely noted, thanks anyway though. Come on Carnage, can I call you Carnage or do you prefer your real name on off hours?

Carnage: Carnage is fine, nobody but my close friends call me Ryan. Hell, I cringed when I heard the doctor say it. So what do I owe this pleasure Jack?

Jack: Why don't you get your gear and we will talk on the way to the next round.

Carnage: Oh yeah, about the next round. I haven't heard where it's going to be held at yet.

Jack: Oh that's the best part. It's a place where you are going to cement your good guy status and possibly move into the ranks of hero. Seven little words Carnage. Lil' Jacks Summer Camp For Husky Children. Can you picture it?

Carnage: I am fighting in a fat camp? Are you kidding me? Who do I have in the second round?

Jack: Oh this is where it gets even better. You, the good guy hero, get to stand up and face an evil man known by the name of Switch Back. At least that is how I am billing it.

Carnage: Switch Back huh? I hear he is good, but runs with some bad eggs. Lyonell being one of them.

Jack: So true, so very true. That's why you have to win today. Because their is a very good chance it could end up you versus Lyonell in the final event, and that's the struggle the fans wanna see. That's where the money is. As bad as Switch Back is, Lyonell is worse. And now with Grim's sister joining the fold......

Carnage: Angelica? No way.

Jack: Yes way. She has joined up with Genocidal Dream. All three are here in Canada.

Carnage: Great, now I got three aholes to worry about.

Jack: Nawwww, I think Angelica won't show up, but most definitly Lyonell will. He is gonna wanna make sure it's an all Genocidal Dream main event. But like I said before, that's where you come in and make sure that isn't going to happen. Oh I am telling you Carnage, this is going to bring in the tourists like you wouldn't believe. Everything around here is Paul Bunyan this and Paul Bunyan that. It get's sickening after awhile. When this tournament is over and you come out the winner, we can start marketing Carnage merchandise. You'll be a household name around these parts. They will start doing Carnage tours. This is where Carnage was thrown threw a window in the first round of the Bar Room Brawl, and this is where Carnage won the Brawl and made this town noticeable again. It's going to be spectacular.

Carnage: I really wish I could share your vision, but I am just here to win the event and go back to NGPW. Just between you and me, I am not a big fan of Canada.

Jack: Hell I have lived here my whole life, and I'm not either. It's common knowledge that Canada is the tumor on America's head, but hey we deal with it and move on. We make the best of the situation. Now grab your stuff and let's get out of here.

Jack turned and walked into the hall. Carnage thought about everything he had said, but still wasn't convinced. As far as he was concerned, Jack could spin this anyway he wanted just as long as it didn't interfere with Carnage's match. He intended to win it, and he was not going let anything or anyone stop him.
Lil' Jacks Summer Camp For Husky Children was not like any ordinary fat camps. This one was strict, and mean, and got results alot faster than normal. The people their used scare and intimidation tactics to get the kids to lose weight. Because the results were so staggering, it wasn't cheap to join. A car pulled up right outside the camp. A huge barbwire fence seperated the camp from the road. Not an inspiring sight for parents getting ready to drop off their kids.

Tommy: Mommy, I don't wanna go. This place scares me.

Linda: I am sorry hunny, but your father and I paid alot of money for you to come here. You don't wanna be called fatty fatty all your life do you?

Tommy: I am not fat, I am just big boned.

Linda: No, your fat. Your 10 years old and fat. Not a healthy combination. Not grab your bag and march your butt over to that gate. I'll see you in eight weeks.

Linda kissed her son goodbye and he got out of the car. Before coming up to the entrance gate, he peered through the fence. What he saw horrified him. Kids chopping logs and pulling them in wagons across miles of territory. Camp instructors acting like drill sergents making disobedients do hundreds of situps. One thing out of the ordinary caught his eye though. A sign hanging over the compound. That sign reading "Round 2 Of The Bar Room Brawl Located Here". Then he saw camera crews setting up cameras all along the camp. Tommy knew something was up, and that alone made him enter the campgrounds.

Switch Back: Are you sure we don't need Angelica today?

Lyonell: I am positive. This guy is going to be a walk in the F%$^$#@ park for you. Carnage, what kind of a name is Carnage? F%$#&*^ brilliant.

Switch Back: Yeah you're right. What was I thinking. Hey take a look at the fat F%^$#. I bet he has been here for years and still can't lose the weight.

Lyonell: That's Philly Fats Switch back.

Switch Back: What, is his work release over and they called him back here?

Lyonell smirked as he looked over the grounds. He couldn't believe their was so much blubber in one place.

Lyonell: You keep an eye out for Carnage. I am gonna go F%$# with some of these whales.

Switch Back: You go do that, just make sure you got one eye on the proceedings just in case.
Lyonell: Yeah yeah, what the F&%$ ever.

As Lyonell walks away, the appointed ref comes up to Switch Back to explain the rules. Switch Back looks down and sees a 12 year old with a striped shirt on.

Switch Back: What the hell are you supposed to be? This isn't Halloween is it?

Jimbo: The name is Jim, but people call me Jimbo. I am a special resident here in camp. I was told that since I was such a big wrassling fan, and since I haven't reached my goal weight target yet, that I would be the one to ref this match. They figured it would be a good workout following you two around the camp.

Switch Back: Oh this is too messed up even for me. Look kid, all you have to do is count Carnage's shoulders down for the three. Leave everything else up to me and stay out of my way. I am not above knocking out little kids. Well in your case, maybe not so little.

Jimbo: Hey, I have to do what I am told so don't give me no lip.

Switch Back: Why you little........

Jimbo: Ahhhhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhhhhh, watch yourself tough guy. You wouldn't want to be DQ'ed before the match even started would you?

Switch Back bit his tongue. He wasn't about to risk the semifinals for some punk fat kid.

Jimbo: Good, now that we have that out of the way. Let me explain a few things to you. As you know everything in camp is fair game. Use whatever you like. Be my guest if you wanna throw around a counsilar or two. Once Carnage enters the front gates, the match officially begins. I am the law, and only I will make the official call on who wins, got it?

Switch Back grinds his teeth together none to happy about the way things are starting already.

Switch Back: Listen, you wouldn't happen to take bribes would you? I can get you so many candy bars your head would spin. And to sweetin the deal, get it sweetin, I can get you the most hardcore cola you have ever had grace your tastebuds. I can make it that you'll never have to worry about your sweet tooth again. So what do you say you fat little bastard?

Jimbo: I guess it would be a bad time to mention that I am a Carnage fan huh? I hope he sends you to the hospital. I'll be over by the.......ugggggggg......veggie tray. When I see the action begin, I will make my way over to officiate. Good luck asswipe.

He hated him. Switch Back hated that kid with a thousand passions, but even he had to admit the kid had spunk. It was looking like Switch Back would have to do things the old fashioned way. By hand.

Jack: Ok, we're here.

Jack and Carnage had been traveling for about a half an hour. On the way, Jack had explained all his plan and ideas. He also explained the match situation and gave Carnage a quick layout of the camp grounds so he could be somewhat familiar with it. Jack's car pulled up right in front of the gates. Carnage looked out his window at the barbed wire and his mouth opened.

Carnage: Jack, why on earth would a fat camp need this kind of security? Isn't that kinda much for little kids?

Jack: You have to understand something about these kids. They are hardcore cases. This camp is the last resort for them. When they have tried every other possible diet available and failed. When they ran for hours and hours and hours on a treadmill, and failed. When they had personal trainers come in and try and help, and they failed. These kids walk in thinking this is just like everywhere else they have tried, but in reality it's hell on earth in there. I won't lie about it. Those kids are put through hell and back, but in the end when their parents come to pick them up, it's all worth it. That's why the barbed wire. Many a kid would try and sneak out at night if not for these measures. Believe it or not, it's all a healing process.

Carnage: You really are a spin doctor. You made that line of bull$#% smell real nice.

Jack: Thank you, it's what I do. Oh, there is one of my personal cameramen now. JOE, OVER HERE!

A taller looking man, about 40ish, came running over with camera in hand. He flicked on the switch and the red light came on.

Jack: Jack Keaton here, and with me is none other than Carnage of the NGPW. Today we start filming the rise of a legend. From this point on we are going to be with him every step of the way towards his winning moment in the Bar Room Brawl. We are going to show you each painful step. We are going to show you the hours or mental preperation it takes to do this sort of thing for a living. Before it's all said and done, we are going to show you the life of a hero.
The camera turns to show Carnage just standing there. He has no clue as to what to say for the very first time ever.

Carnage: Ummmmm, thank you?

Jack: Do you hear that folks, he is so modest. Let's watch as Carnage takes his first step into the campgrounds.

Carnage just shrugs his shoulders and heads inside the gates. With Jack and cameraman in tow, Carnage shoots his gaze all around the camp trying to find signs if danger. He had no idea if Switch Back was there yet, and he wasn't about to find out the hard way.
Jack: Look at the intense gaze in his eyes. That's eye of the tiger stuff right there folks. He looks like a lion stalking his prey. What must be going through his mind at this moment?

Carnage: Ummmm, how about I wish this guy would shut up so he doesn't give away my position.

Jack: You heard it here folks. Nobody gets you closer to the action.

Carnage just rolled his eyes and continued on his search. As he walked on, he saw a camp instructor berating one of the kids. The kid had to be about eight years old, and from the looks of it, he seemed to have snuck in some junkfood.

Counsellor Edwards: GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND GIVE ME 200 PUSHUPS NOW! I WILL NOT TOLERATE FAILURE! YOU WILL LOSE YOUR TARGET WEIGHT, OR DIE TRYING! NOW GET DOWN THERE!

The little boy started to cry. He was just eight afterall and had no idea what real life was all about yet. The councellor pushed him down to the ground, and that was all the motivation Carnage needed. He stomped his way over to the scene in a very quick manner.

Carnage: Excuse me, but I think you dropped something.

Carnage reached down and picked the little boy up. He dusted him off and sent him on his way. Counsellor Edwards was beside himself.

Councellor Edwards: NOW WHO IN THE SAM HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FAR THAT LITTLE STUNT IS GOING TO SET ME BACK IN HIS TRAINING?

Carnage: Yeah, you can stop shouting now. I think I can hear you just fine.

Councellor Edwards: IF I WANNA YELL, I WILL YELL! IT'S MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO YELL 24/7! WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME DIFFERENT?

Carnage reaches his hand out and grabs the piece of garbage around his neck. He starts to squeeze making sure nothing but squeaks come out of the man.

Carnage: Here is a little story I would like to tell you. I once knew a man, about like yourself, who used to yell all the time. Everywhere he went, he would yell and scream. He would get drunk all the time and come home in a drunken stuper and yell. One time he went a tad to far and hit me. His very last mistake in life. Needless to say that man was my father, and I kinda got carried away myself and crushed his voicebox. It cost me many years in life while I spent them in a boys home, but it was well worth it never to hear his voice again. The moral of this story? You ever raise your voice and touch another one of these little kids again, and Ill make what I did to him seem like a church sponsored picnic in comparison. Do we understand each other?

Carnage shook the mans head up and down signifying that he understood. He released the hold just as quickly as he snatched it. Councellor Edwards held onto his throat and just ran for his life.

Jack: Did you get that? Oh please tell me you got that?

The cameraman nods and Jack is pleased as punch. He was getting the exact shots he was looking for.

Jack: As you can see folks, Carnage has a heart of gold. He saw a little tyke like that in trouble, and he stepped in to save him. We need more of these kind of people in life.

The wheels in Carnage's head started turning. He was starting to think not all is what it seemed, but just as he got to thinking, it all came to a sudden hault. Switch Back surprised him with a superkick to the mouth.

Switch Back: Welcome to the party. Sorry to say though, all the good stuff has already been eaten. Bunch of gluttons.

Lyonell, one of the most foul men on the face of the planet. He had no sense of right and wrong. For him, everything and everyone were fair game. He thought he could do anything he wanted. In his eyes, nobody could touch him. This camp was no different. Out by one of the outhouses, Lyonell was making a mockery of an 11 year old girl. In his hand was a Baby Ruth bar. He waved it in front of her face like a trainer waving a banana in front of a monkey.

Lyonell: Come on b%$#, you know you want it. All you have to do is go get it.

Sally: Please Mr. I haven't had a candy bar in three weeks. I am dying here. Look at me, I am nothing but skin and bones.

Lyonell looked her over. She was far from skin and bones. She was more like two pigs in a blanket.

Lyonell: Yeah, whatever you F$%#%# say. Ok, so you want this candy bar that bad huh. Then it's all yours.

Lyonell opened the outhouse door and tossed in the candy bar. It wasn't disgusting enough to just toss the bar into the latrine, but he had to toss it right into the toilet. Little Sally ran in with tears in her eyes. She took a peek down and saw it floating. It was a good ways down though. Far out of her reach.

Lyonell: I guess you're gonna have to get out the old wet suit. Stupid little F$%#@!.

Lyonell was having way too much fun, and forgot all about Switch Back. He laughed as he walked away from the outhouse, untill a voice from behind made him stop dead in his tracks.

Tommy: I saw what you did. I saw everything, and you aren't gonna get away with it.

Lyonell turned around and couldn't believe his eyes. It was 10 year old Tommy. Lyonell couldn't believe the nerve of this kid. The great Lyonell being called out by a fourth grader. He smiled an evil smile. He had his next victim.

Question Mark: Hello fans, Question Mark here in the grounds of Lil' Jacks Summer Camp For Husky Children. With me today for this second round of Bar Room Brawl action is none other than Philly Fats. Philly, I am surprised you made it here today.

Philly: And why is that?

Question Mark: I figured you would have Vietnam type flashbacks being in a place like this.

Philly: You're a real funny guy Mark. Just stick with the match and leave the jokes to the pros.

Question Mark: Alrighty then, well from our monitors we can see that Switch Back has found Carnage and is going to work on him. Cameras are positioned all around the campgrounds, so we shouldn't miss a moment of action. Even though there is a battle going on, the camp is running the same as scheduled. That may also play a factor in this thing.

Philly: This place is a sham. A flim flam sham. Kids of all ages should be able to eat whatever they want. So what if they gain a few extra pounds. It's every man, woman, and childs god given right to die of heart disease if they so choose.

Question Mark: More inspiring words have never been spoken. But on another note of interest, there seems to be an independent cameraman following around Carnage, with what seems to be a man hyping the action. They don't work for Wrassle I can tell you that.

Philly: Who cares, we get payed all the same. What I wanna comment on is the special guest ref for this match, The Pillsbury Doughboy. Man I love that little guy. He has brought me many a pastry in my time.

Question Mark: That's not the Pillsbury Doughboy Fats, that's one of the residents here in Husky Camp.

Philly was standing with a pen and paper in hand all ready to get an autograph when he heard that news from Question Mark. Disappointed, he sat right back down.

Philly: Thanks for killing the dream man. Appreciate it.

Question Mark just shakes his head and continues to call the action.

Question Mark: Switch Back has got Carnage by the neck. Big headbutt. I think I see blood on the tip of Carnage's nose. Switch Back scooping Carnage up now. He has him on his shoulder. He looking around. Oh, he is heading for that wooden table. Wait, Carnage slides down off the back of Switch Back. Bulldog through the table. Carnage was able to catch Switch Back before he could turn around, and now Carnage is in control. Carnage dropping down for the quick pin, but the ref only gets to two.

Philly: Has this kid ever reffed anything before? I am not sure how fair this is going to be. Who in the hell sactioned that little midget anyways?

Question Mark: It was approved by all the leading parties Philly. If you ask me it was an ingenious idea to make....Jimbo is it? Yes, Jimbo.....it was ingenious to make Jimbo the ref. Not only does it show faith in the youth of the world, but it also strengthens the face of the Husky community. It let's them know they are as important as everyone else. You of all people should appreciate that.

Philly: So what are you saying, that I'm fat?

Carnage was back on his feet and looking around for something to use. It was pretty much open ground at the moment, but one thing did come into view that peaked his interest. A wagon full of chopped logs stood near a tree stump. Carnage grabbed Switch Back and lead him over there. Once there, he took one of the logs and nailed Switch Back in the gut. This doubled him over pretty fast, and he started coughing trying to catch his breath. Carnage raised up the log once more and took aim at the back of Switch Back's head. Before he could come down with the finishing blow, Switch Back delivered a devistating low blow onto Carnage. He dropped his weapon and went down to his knees as well. Switch Back was able to get enough breath back in him to throw a few right hands into Carnage's face. Carnage went down the rest of the way, giving Switch Back time to fully recover.

Jack: As you can plainly see, this match has been a back and forth battle between two titans.
Carnage seems to be in a bit of trouble now though. Hey, look over their in the distance. That counsiler is making that young man do pushups with his knuckles. That is something you don't see eight year olds doing everyday. Well, back to the action.

Jack was suspiciously scounting the camp grounds. It seemed like he had an alternate agenda, but that was something that would have to be worked through at a later time. Switch Back waited patiently for Carnage to get back up. He was stalking him like a lion stalks his prey. Carnage was just about all the way up when Switch Back nailed him with an RKO. He went down for the cover, but a two count is all that he got. Switch Back was never a man known for his patience, and he started to show it by yelling at Jimbo.

Switch Back: Look kid, if you are going to do this, do it right. 1...2....3, it's not that hard. Even you can handle that.

Jimbo: Hey, just cause I am young and fat, that doesn't mean I can't count. You just worry about him and let me handle the rest.

As he says this, he stands back up and starts wheezing.

Switch Back: Oh now what?

Jimbo: Oh it's........UUUUUHHHHHHH..........nothing. Just my asthma acting up.

Switch Back: Your F$#%@#! kidding me?

Switch Back feels like he has entered the twilight zone. He shakes his head and turns around almost running into Jack's cameraman.

Switch Back: Hey, watch it S%$# for brains. What are you doing here anyway? I don't know you, and I certainly don't know that guy who seems to think he is an announcer. What are you doing here? You don't work for wrassle.

Jack: What I am doing here is watching you get your head taken off.

Switch Back: What?

With that being said, Carnage sprung back up and hit Switch Back with a hard clothesline, turning him 360 in the air. Carnage wastes no time and grabs Switch Back. He lands a few shots in on his chin, but Switch Back comes back with a few of his own. They continue to trade shots all the way to the barbwire fence that was seperating the camp from the road. Switch Back landed a knee into Carnage's gut, and with one swift motion he launched Carnage right into the fence. He hit it hard getting tangled in the barbwire. Switch Back had an evil grin on his face.

Jack: Carnage being tossed into that painful trap. Speaking of painful, if you glance over to the right, you'll see kids carrying gallons of water across a five mile jaunt. Not exactly model weight loss plans if you ask me.

Question Mark: Carnage is a mess. After that first round and all the pain he went through, one has to wonder how he plans on coming back from this.

Philly: I'll tell you how. He isn't. Their is only so much pain the human body can take. By the way, why is this Jack guy commenting on the camp so much? Isn't he supposed to be paying attention to the match?

Question Mark: He is probably just shocked by the way things work around here. I know I was when I first entered. If it wasn't for the contract we signed prohibiting any unauthorized footage of camp activities from being aired, I would so turn this place in for cruelty.

Philly: Quit your belly aching. It's none of our business what goes on here. We are just here to call a match.

Question Mark: Jimbo checking on Carnage. Switch Back having none of it though. He just pushed Jimbo to the ground. I can't believe him. He is lucky if he isn't DQ'ed for that one.

Philly: If you haven't noticed, this is a Bar Room Brawl event. DQ's aren't exactly commonplace here.

Question Mark: Jimbo getting back up and dusting himself off. He seems pretty mature for a 12 year old. He isn't trying to argue with Switch Back thank god. He is just going back to his duty. Switch going for Carnage. Carnage is a mess. He now has fresh cuts all over his body. Switch Back not making things any better either by yanking him out of that wire. Carnage is almost free now. Wait, what's this? Switch Back with what appears to be an axe. Where in the hell did he get that from?

Philly: Probably from where it was laying ten feet over. I wonder which end he is going to use?
Question Mark: What do you mean which end? He wouldn't. I mean he couldn't. Lyonell maybe, but not Switch Back. Switch with the sharp end pointed right at Carnage's skull. You do realize if he does this, he goes to jail not the Bar Room finals.

Philly: Who knows, if it gets enough ratings, maybe the last round will be moved to the jail.

Question Mark: You're sick. Switch Back rearing back, I can't watch.

Carnage was a split second away from having a better half. Carnage was able to roll out of the way at the last second. The axe went from Switch Backs hand into the ground below. Switch Back cursed under his breath as Carnage got back to his feet. Both men started to circle one another. Each one looking for that perfect opening. Just then, Carnage took off. Like a bat out of hell, he started to run in the opposite direction of Switch Back. Jack and cameraman took off after him trying their best to keep up. Switch Back on the other hand just stood there a minute looking confused as all hell.

Jack: Carnage is on the move folks. No doubt with some sort of master plan in the works. Did he see something he didn't like maybe? I don't know exactly what is running through his mind. Oh my, as we pass by take a look at the food that is being served up as a snack at the health bar. Cottage Cheese that looks to have been set out in the sun to long and dried fruit that I don't think was supposed to be dry. Make sure you get a good shot of that.

Carnage continued to run untill he couldn't run anymore. He came across a latrine and hid behind it. Not to long later, Switch Back and Jimbo came running up looking for Carnage. Jack and his cameraman had already arrived.

Switch Back: Where is he? The coward.

Jimbo: Yeah, huffff puffffff......I should never be made to run like that............again.

Jack: I am not at liberty to tell you anything.

Switch Back got a really annoyed look on his face. First off, the guy had nothing to do with wrassle, then he had the gall to tell Switch Back to basicly F$%# off. Switch Back started approaching Jack, when a noise was heard not to far in the distance. It was the sounds of a young boy in pain. The camera spun around and spotted Lyonell giving some young kid a wedgie of a lifetime.

Tommy: Owwww ow ow ow ow.....OK, I sware never to........

Lyonell: Say it just like I F%$#&^ told you to.

Tommy: I sware I'll never step up to you like a punk ass b%$# who couldn't F%$#@ % hurt a flea. Straight up pimpin yo.

Switch Back couldn't help but laugh. This was the distraction Carnage needed. Carnage lept out from behind the porta potty. He grabbed Switch by the back of the head and whipped him into the stall. He then closed the door and shook it back and forth over and over again. Finally, the bathroom gave way and tipped over onto it's side spilling precious fluids out all over the place. Everyone immediately covered their noses, except for Jimbo.

Jimbo: (Sniffing) Is that.......no way........if my senses are correct, I do believe that is the smell of a Baby Ruth.

Jimbo quickly starts searching the area for the Baby Ruth, making no bones about not minding sifting through raw sewage. Switch Back gets the door to the potty open and crawls out. He is covered in raw sewage. Carnage realizes he may have made a mistake, cause he doesn't wanna get within a 100 feet of Switch Back at this point in time. To say Switch Back was pissed was an understatement. He chrged Carnage and tackled him to the ground. They were rolling around throwing punches at each other untill finally, they rolled themselves down a steep hill nearby. Tumbling and tumbling and tumbling they went trying to avoid any debris where they could. It had to be a good fifty feet down. Carnage was the first one to stop at the bottom. He was lucky enough not to hit anything major, but that tumble was enough to beat him up pretty good on it's own. Switch Back wasn't as lucky though. His stop was more sudden and impactful. His head caught a decent sized tree branch and knocked him cold. From up top, Jack, his cameraman, and Jimbo all came down the hill making sure to be very careful along the way. Once down their, they found Carnage laying on Switch Back.
Jimbo: I found it, I found the Baby Ruth.

Jimbo had the nasty ass candy bar hanging from inside his mouth. Everyone looked on disgusted.

Carnage: Just make the count Mr. Sanitary.

Jimbo did as he was told and dropped down to his knees.
Jimbo: 1........2........3

Question Mark: That's it. Just like that the match is over. It wasn't as long a match as some of the others, but it was still pretty brutal.

Philly: And nasty, YUCK! I think I just lost my appetite for the next year or so.
Question Mark: You lose your appetite? I think you're gonna owe this place alot of money if you happen to lose all your weight in the next year or so.

Philly: On second thought, I think I could go for a few whoppers right about now.

Question Mark: In any case, Carnage has somehow pulled another one out and is now on his way to the finals.

Jack Keaton put the finishing touches to his footage that was being shot.

Jack: Their you have it folks. An amazing match, and an amazing win for the one and only Carnage. A true hero on his way to complete his long journey. And on a bit of a side note, from what was seen throughout the camp here today, I would just like to say this place should be shut down. Kids being tortured and humiliated into losing weight. Kids digging through seage for candy bars. Councilers allowing kids to be wedgiefied. This is an abomination and a travesty to humankind. I am gonna see to it that this place is never to torture another kid ever again. This is Jack Keaton signing off.

The camera is shut down and Jack's cameraman gives the thumbs up signal signifying he got it all and it's a wrap. Carnage slowly stands back up, barely able to move, but eventually gets over to Jack.

Carnage: Ok, I have been listening to you this whole day and things just aren't adding up. Who are you?

Jack: The name is Jack. Or you may know me better as.....Lil' Jack.

Carnage: What?

Jack: Yes, my father opened this place 23 years ago and named it after me. I was his very first test subject. For years I went through hell and back much like these kids here today. I was put through various physical activities that no normal kid could or should make it through. Once I lost the weight he wanted me to lose, he opened up this hell hole. From that day on I made it my mission to get this place shut down once and for all. I have been unable to get in here and get evidence needed for such a task, untill I read Wrassle was coming into town. I used it to my advantage and concocted the story of being an aide to the mayor. I bided my time through round one, scoping out al the talent that made it to round two. Out of them all I knew you would be the most honorable. So I came to you with the story of making you larger than life around here. I knew that if I were with you every step of the way, then I could eaily pass as just another wrestler archiver and get in here with my cameraman. So as the match went on, I was able to get great footage. Enough in fact to shut this place down. I am sorry I used you like that, but you saw it all for yourself. No child should ever go through this.

Carnage: Look man, I never wanted to be a new Bunyan Falls hero anyway. I respect what you have accomplished here today and I salute you for caring as much as you do.

Carnage and Jack share a handshake as Jimbo walks up to them with chocolate and other things resembling chocolate cover his mouth and hands.

Jimbo: You mean I am going to be free?

Jack: Soon enough my little friend.

Jimbo: Oh thank god. Now of you excuse me, I think I am going to go throw up.
A little time passes by. Carnage has been helped out of the camp, along with most everyone else. EMT's have gotten to Switch back and brought him back up to the ambulance. As he is being worked on, Lyonell comes walking up.

Lyonell: What the F%$# happened man?

Switch Back: I got F$%#@^ beat, that's what happend. Where were you?

Lyonell: I was F%^$#&^ with these fat asses. Doing what I do best. Figures you couldn't handle S$%# without me. Told ya Angelica should of come to.

Switch Back just glared at Lyonell not even wanting to talk to him anymore.

Lyonell: Don't worry about it man. He isn't winning the final round. Bank on it.

The End........Or The Beginning Of The End?

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Stan Daniels

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Re: Just For The Hell Of It (2006 BRB Entries)

Post  Stan Daniels on Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:22 am

Bunyan Falls Showdown Part 3: The Final Battle....Lyonell Vs. Carnage

Museum Curator: Ok people, let's get this show on the road. This final round broadcast is going to be starting in just a short while from now. I do not, and I repeat DO NOT, want any of the more valuable displays broken. That's why this ring is set up. That's why we are going to have lumberjacks surrounding the ring. To make sure this thing stays in the ring, and nothing gets destroyed. I have seen the other matches, and I am more than a little concerned.
Philly Fats wanders in the general direction of the muesum curator after hearing his rant to his workers.

Philly: Hey, you need to take a pill. Wrassle has paid this town a handsome amount of money for it's resources. Plus do you realize how much exposure you are getting from this one match alone? This is the final round of the Bar Room Brawl. The one match everybody has been waiting for. Two people who have fought tooth and nail to get here, are going to come in here and try and tear one another apart. Millions will order this on PPV. And you can trust me on this one, if anything gets damaged in any way, shape, or form, then this museum will be highly compensated. Now, do whatever it is you have to do to get this place ready, and take that worry off of your shoulders.

Philly gave the curator a little slap on the back which made him wince a little. His words were a little less than inspiring to the curator. They did little to ease his worry. It was actually a miracle the museum was able to talk Wrassle into using a ring in the first place. In any case, work had to be done and done fast. The clock was ticking.

Carnage: Are you sure you wanna stick around for this? You don't have to you know. The world tour is still going on, and if you wanted to get back to it you are more than welcome to.

Phil: Carnage, I may be out of this thing but I wouldn't feel much like a member of the NGPW if I were to just up and leave without seeing you win the whole damned thing. Everything that has transpired between us, between me losing the KoK title to you and then being eliminated from the BRB while you moved onto the final round, is all behind me untill this thing finishes. From here to the final bell I am right behind ya all the way.

Carnage: Alright man, I appreciate that. It's gonna get a bit rough in their though. You might wanna stay on either the second or third floor of the museum. I know I would if I were you.

Carnage was talking to Phil Stone right outside the museum doors. His body was a total wreck. His insides were all busted up, and everything on the outside didn't look much better. Jetting back and forth between this and the NGPW world tour was not helping matters much either. As Carnage turned towards the museum, he hunched over in pain and started coughing. A large wad of blood was coughed up and spit onto the ground. Phil was just a tad concerned.

Phil: That can't be very healthy man. Are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Carnage: Of course. This could be my finest moment in all of my career. Finally a chance to add my name to the greats and cement my name once and for all. I have been working long and hard for seven plus years in this business. It's finally my time. I don't care if I am taken out in a bodybag today. I am not leaving without the win and the title.

Phil: That's what I was hoping you would say. I wanna see you kick Lyonell's ass. After the stunt he pulled on me, I am gonna savor the flavor of this one. You just try and stay clear of being thrown outside the ring. I hear their are going to be some bad muthas roaming around that ring. Most of them are going to be work release inmates, and there is no telling what crimes they were put in the clink for. Not to mention that after beating Switch Back the way you did, I am more than sure the other members of Genocidal Dream are going to be there in full force.

Carnage: Oh and don't forget about all the starving kids in Africa. Come on man, you don't think I know the odds are highly stacked against me? The fact that I made it this far was a longshot at best. I have gone through hell and back for this title. What's one more trip? Now let's get in there. I have a match to win.

A picture is usually worth a thousand words. Even when that picture has some of the ugliest, meanest S.O.B.'s on the face of the planet. On the second floor of the museum stood Genocidal Dream. And not just Angelica, Switch Back, and Lyonell either. Battlestone and BJ Coles had made a special trip at the request of Lyonell. Indeed he did have a plan.

Switch Back: I still can't believe I allowed that low class, S#$@ for brains beat me.

Lyonell: Yes indeed, you F%$#^& suck.

Angelica: You don't have to be so blunt about it you incensitive prick. I think he feels bad enough.

Lyonell: You think I give a F%$# if he feels bad? He lost, and in my eyes that makes him a F$%#^#@ loser. Now I have to go in and pick up the F%$&$#@ pieces. I am this teams last chance. But don't think for a second I don't have a F%$#&^% plan. I told you at the end of that last round that Carnage was not going to win this thing, and I F%$#@!& meant it. In just a little while, that ring is going to be surrounded by some of the baddest F%$#@^ on the planet. Second only to Genocidal Dream, thee baddest F^%$#@! on the planet. Which, by the way, are going to be stationed right here on the second floor overlooking the proceedings.

BJ Coles: That's right, and when things get a little too heated for Lyonell, we spring into action.

Lyonell turned and looked at BJ like he was out of his mind.

Lyonell: Now what on this F%$#&# planet makes you think that things are gonna get to heated for me?

BJ Coles: Well, you wanted us here for a reason. I didnt think it was to wash your socks.

Lyonell: Bitch, just for that you're not only gonna wash them, you're gonna blow on them till they are dry. You guys are all here to watch me as I destroy this F%$# and bring home the BRB title. It is going to look so good next to my USOB title.

Battlestone: Got that right brotha. Genocidal Dream is taking it home, and then going into Stable Wars with momentum.

Switch Back: Yep, and those S$#@ stain Network pricks aren't going to be able to do anything about it.

Lyonell kept watch over everything that was going on around the ring. One thing in particular though that caught his eye, was the entrance of Carnage and Phil Stone. Lyonell gave one of his trademark smirks.

Battlestone: What are you grinning at Lyonell?

Lyonell: Oh not much. Just saw my opponent walk in with last rounds F%$#@% loser. Why would he want to be associated with a second round loser?

All the guys just look at Lyonell and then over to Switch Back.

Lyonell: Nevermind.....F#$@

Angelica: Oh that's real nice guys. Real nice.

Tour Guide: And here ladies and gentlemen is an exhibit displaying the trials and tribulations Paul Bunyan had while married to a Sasquatch. That's big foot for you younger kids who haven't heard the correct term for it. For obvious reasons, Paul is scaled down to a normal size replica instead of the giant he was. You all get the idea though.

Not to far from where the ring was set up, one last tour was going through the museum before the big match. The young lady leading the small group kept a smile on her face as she tried to hurry the tour up a bit. She was just as anxious to see the final round of the Bar Room as the rest of the wrassle fans. In front of the group was a display scene depicting the images of Paul Bunyan and a Sasquatch. The backdrop is a forest with cut up logs and a few small furry animals. Paul is bent over right in front of the Sasquatch and he has a freaky smile on his face. The six people in the group start giggling to themselves as they draw their own conclusions as to what's going on.

Tour Guide: You know, that is the same reaction I get everytime I bring people to this part of the tour. But don't worry folks, Paul is just gathering some wood for a long nights rest.
Man in the group: I am sure wood has something to do with it, just not so sure it has to do with what you're saying.

Everyone in the group laughs as the young tour guide just rolls her eyes and leads them onto the next display.

Tour Guide: Next on our tour is another display scene which shows Paul Bunyan at his lowest in life. He had become very dependent on alchohol and Opium, as you can plainly see.

The image shown here was that of Paul Bunyan all drugged out with red bulging eyes. An opium pipe in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. Right next to it are two more images. One of Paul getting ready to strike his mate, the sasquatch, and the other is of the Sasquatch cowering in fear.

Tour Guide: One of the early forms of spousal abuse. One of the lead causes as to why the marriage never worked out. Ashame really, their love started out as one for the ages.

Man In the group: How can you say all this with a straight face?

Tour Guide: Hey, I take this job very seriously. This is our culture. What we are known for. I am very proud to call myself a Bunyanite. Now if we may get to the final exhibit please. Their is an event starting up soon, and all tours have to end in about five minutes. If I may direct you to one last display scene. This is Paul at the mercy of the founding fathers. They are seen here taking their axes to him, chopping him down like he had so many trees in the past. It was the slaughter that made time stand still. If we may all bow our heads in silence. I would like to say a final prayer for our fallen one, Paul Bunyan.

Everyone in the group just sorta snickers and bows their heads.

Tour Guide: Dear lord, I would like for you to continue taking good care of our fallen hero Paul Bunyan. For his fire burned out to soon. For all that he gave us, and all the memories bestowed upon this great little town, I would like to say thank you. Thank you Paul, and may you always keep a watchful eye on us all. Amen.

In the background, you could hear the museum just about filled to capacity. The event was just about to start.

Tour Guide: Ok ladies and gentlemen. That concludes the tour for the day. If you would like, you can make your way over to one of the upper levels and watch the festivities. It is free to anyone already in the museum, so relax and enjoy.

With that said, she hightails it away from the group to go and see if she can still get a good spot at ringside.

Question Mark: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to what is sure to be a classic. Today marks the final round of the Bar Room Brawl tournament. Two men who have come a long way, and have fought tooth and nail, are gonna meet up here in the Paul Bunyan Corpse Museum.

Philly: Yes, finally this thing ends today. If I had to hear one more Paul Bunyan story, I was going to puke.

Question Mark: Well I for one sure had a good time while staying here. Lots of interesting stories that are tied to this place. But the most interesting one of all is what has transpired in the first two rounds with our two finalists. Let's take a quick peek back in time and see how they made it this far.

The scene changes from the two announcers at ringside to a video package of Lyonell. "Sleep Now In The Fire" plays in the background as various clips are shown. The words "Round One" are shown and then their is a clip of Lyonell knocking out the CWA reporter, Mr. Blonde. The next clip that is shown is that of Lyonell making a ninety year old woman out to be the blue oxe Babe. It shows him riding her on her gurney to the special ring set up in the Old folks home, and her body flying off of it towards the end into the crowd of old timer lumberjacks. From that point on, their is a clip shown of Angelica clobbering Lyonell before the match and various clips of back and forth action between Alexei Grim and Lyonell. Then the scene switches to the final moments of the match where Angelica is in the ring with her brother, and it looks as though Alexei is going to win. Then unexpectedly, Angelica low blows Alexei and Lyonell hits him with the Unwarranted Tragedy. Finally, it shows Lyonell making the cover for the 1, 2, 3 and Angelica putting the boots to her brother as Switch Back spray painted the word "Dream" on Alexei.
The words "Round Two" come up on the screen next. The very first image from that round is of the Lyobot. Then it switches over to Lyobot knocking the hell out of Lyonell, and then Phil Stone. It goes from there to the point where Nipple_boy, Angelica, and Switch Back all tried teaming up on the Lyobot. Then finally it shows Phil taking out the Lyobot with a fire extinguisher and then Lyonell taking Phil out with a pig's leg, making the cover 1, 2, 3. The final shot of the clip is of Genocidal Dream together celebrating with their hands raised.

The music makes a sudden shift, and changes from Lyonell's to Carnage's. "Head Like A Hole" plays as Carnage's clips begin. One again the words "Round One" show up on the screen. It shows a picture of Shotgun X, then of Carnage. It then goes to Carnage pudding a saddle onto SGX's back and riding him like a horse. From there it goes to the rope department where Carnage is choking out SGX. But then it hits the most intense stuff. It shows Carnage being shot with a nail gun multiple times before sailing through the store window. The scene then shifts to Shotgun X barreling down on Carnage in a truck, but Carnage getting the nailgun and shooting SGX, causing him to lose control of the truck and flip. The final clip from the round shows Carnage placing a foot on SGX's chest for the pinfall.
"Round Two" is next on the screen as it then cuts to a sign reading "Lil' Jacks Summer Camp For Husky Children." Carnage is then shown on the screen trading blows with Switch Back. Switch Back delivers a superkick to Carnage, and then it goes to Carnage giving Switch Back a bulldog through a wooden picnic table. Again the scenes switch around and Switch Back is delivering an RKO to Carnage. Then it shows Carnage being thrown into the barbed wire fence that was wrapped all around the camp grounds. With the final few scenes, it shows Switch Back and Carnage tumbling down a steep hill, and Switch hitting his head on a log. Then Carnage drapes his arm over for a cover and a 1, 2, 3. It all wraps up with a closeup of both Carnage and Lyonell with the words, "Who Will Win It All?"

Question Mark: Indeed these two men deserve to be here. There is one big question though. Which one of these guys has the advantage? Which one is in better shape today? My guess would have to be Lyonell. He has had it rough, but I feel Carnage has been through more hell than you can imagine. Not only here, but back in the NGPW where some of his recent KoK matches have been brutal.

Philly Fats: I don't like agreeing with you. I mean I really hate it, but this is just one of those times where I have to. Carnage is going to have to really suck it up here today if he wants to win this thing.

Question Mark: Indeed he will. Folks, this has been one hell of a Bar Room Brawl, but coming next month we are going to have ourselves another big event. It's the return of Stable Wars.

The scene changes to an advertisement for Stable Wars.

"Stable Wars is coming, grab your kids and lock them in their rooms. This one isn't going to be for the feint of heart. Last year the Network walked away with it all. Can they repeat, or is this the year for a new breed? Watch as stables from all over Wrassle, compete for the right to call themselves the number one stable. Watch as stables such as S.A.V.F., Network, and Genocidal Dream duke it out. If you have followed it through the years, you'll regonize names such as System, The Flood, The Rising Sun, T-Ex, The Crew, and Congregation. This year promises to be bigger, badder, and more extreme. Come September, while the weather gets cooler, things are really gonna heat up inside. Join us for Stable Wars."

Question Mark: Oh man I am really looking forward to that one.

Philly: I don't know why, we all know the Network is more than likely going to take it all.

Question Mark: Oh and I suppose that wouldn't be biased since your brother is one of the leaders?

Philly: I stand by everything I say, and I don't have to explain myself to you or anybody else, so neener neener neener.

Question Mark: Ok folks, while Philly is acting like a baby let me explain some of the rules for this match........

The Mayor and one of his assistants stand near the ring. All of the patrons that can fill the museum are all just about seated where they need to be on each level of the building. The Mayor was preparing to be the guest ring announcer for the match.

The Mayor: Ok Jenkins, now let me go over this one more time with you. Tell me if I get this right or not. AHHHHEMMMMMMMM! Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the final event of this Bar Room blah blah blah.....Ummmmm, allow me to introduce to you the two blah blah blah's. blah blah blah.....only way to win is countout.....blah blah.

Jenkins: If you leave the blah blah's out, I think you might be onto something.
The Mayor: Don't be a smartass. I got this.

The Mayor plasters on one of his cheesy grins, climbs up the ring steps, and enters the ring. The fans in attendance give him a very nice ovation. While a few media outlets jot down some notes and take some pictures.

The Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Paul Bunyan Corpse Museum. The site of the final event in Wrassle's Bar Room Brawl.

All the wrassling fans in attendance cheer.

The Mayor: Before I make the introductions, I would just like to say a few things. First, I wanna thank Wrassle for choosing our little neck of the woods. This has helped our community a great deal, and I expect a big boom in tourism once we finish here. I wanna thank Philly Fats for his hard work and contributions.

The fans hiss and boo Fats as he just gives them a shut the F%$# up smile.

The Mayor: Also, I would like to thank all the wrasslers who decided to grace this event and give it their all. But only two of them have made it to the finals. The rules of this match are simple. To win you must throw your opponent out of the ring. Once he is out, if a ten count is made, then you are declared the winner. No pins, submissions, or DQ's exist in this match. Oh and to add some extra spice to the mix, the ring will be surrounded by mean lumberjacks and even meaner convicts on work release. But not to worry folks. Their is going to be plenty of security, so none of them are going to get out of line and escape. Now that I have cleared all that up, allow me to introduce to you the two finalists. First, coming to the ring.........

The Mayor is cut off in mid sentence. He looks around peeved off as "Sleep Now In The Fire" plays throughout the museum. Lyonell struts his way down the stairs from the second floor. With a cocky ass grin, he walks up to the ring and slides in. Not impressed by the Mayor, he takes the mic straight from his hands.

Lyonell: Ok, cut my F^%$#& music. With all due respect Mayor, your services are no longer needed. So in other words, get the F^%$ out of my ring.

The crowd boos Lyonell as the Mayor is beside himself. Jenkins climbs in and grabs the Mayor by the shoulder.

Lyonell: That's right lapdog. Get your master out of here before he dies in office. Heaven knows what kind of F%^$ you'd all elect next. If you all wanted someone in office who would steal all your hard earned money, then you could of elected me. I would of been more than happy to rob all you pieces of S%$#.

Not liking what Lyonell has to say, the fans from the second and third balconies start throwing garbage into the ring.

Lyonell: Yeah, F%$# you to. Now that the unpleasantries have left the ring, CARNAGE, get your ass out here so I can F%$# it up. Oh and send those lumberjacks down to, so I can show them how to really be badasses.

Lyonell had said all he wanted to say. He threw the mic down and paced the ring like a caged animal. He was ready to fight.

Question Mark: Can you believe the nerve of this guy? That is the mayor of Bunyan Falls. Has he no respect for anybody?

Philly: Of course not. This is a guy that barely respects his teammates let alone anybody else. I like that kind of attitude though. It has gotten him this far in his career.

Question Mark: Well, I think there is one man that has something to say about all of that, and here he comes now. The seven year veteran Carnage is making his way to the ring. Look at him Philly, making time to shake hands with some of the fans. What a class act. At least he is respectful.

Philly: Yeah, but will he be respectful once the match is over and Lyonell wins?

As "Head Like A Hole" plays, Carnage arrives at ringside. He looks up into the ring at Lyonell who just stares at Carnage with an evil grin on his face. Carnage doesn't take his eyes off of him as he climbs into the ring. To say Carnage is pretty banged up is an understatement. Cuts and bruises cover his body, his ribs are taped pretty heavily, and he still has stitches in his forehead from the two previous battles. On the outside, Phil Stone made his way to a seat a few rows away from the ring. He wanted an up close view of the action. "Head Like A Hole" dies down and Lyonell starts to make a move when all of a sudden Jackyl's Lumberjack song starts playing stopping Lyonell dead in his tracks. Both men in the ring watch as about ten nasty, mean looking lumberjacks head towards the ring. These guys were built. They were all wearing the standard plaid shirts and carried axes with them.

Question Mark: Oh my god, these guys are huge. If these guys look like this, I shudder to think what the convicts are going to look like.

Philly: Well start shuddering, cause here they come.

Indeed they were a sight to behold. "Jailbreak" by Thin Lizzy starts playing and in walks ten of the ugliest, most hardened criminals Canada could dig up. Most of them were covered in tattoos and dressed in standard issue prison garb. Escorting them to the ring were armed prison guards.

Question Mark: Yep, it's official. If one of these guys gets thrown out of the ring, they are gonna die. Look at the bloodlust in these men's eyes. They know what they are allowed to do, and they are chomping at the bit. It's a good thing they aren't allowed any weapons.

Philly: I think that's just wrong. If the two competitors are allowed weapons, then why not the men on the outside. That would make things so much more interesting. Awwwwww, come on ref. He is making the lumberjacks get rid of those axes. What a killjoy.

Question Mark: Oh yeah, heaven forbid nobody gets sliced in half tonight. Well, looks like we can now officially get this thing underway. All the lumberjacks have arrived. Five men on each side of the ring. Half lumberjacks, and half convicts.

The bell rings as both men look outside the ring at the men surrounding it. Carnage makes the one mistake he swore he wouldn't make, and takes his eyes off of Lyonell. Lyonell quickly charges Carnage and hits him with a stiff elbow shot to the mouth. This staggers Carnage to the ropes. Lyonell then hits him once again and tries throwing Carnage over the ropes. Carnage firmly plants his feet though, and jams his thumb in Lyonell's eye. Lyonell backs up blinded as Carnage headbutts him, sending him down to the canvas. As Carnage comes in on him, Lyonell lifts his foot and it connects with a blinding force in Carnage's nether regions. Lyonell kips up, grabs Carnage by the hair, and whips him over the top rope into the side with the lumberjacks.
Question Mark: Oh no, Carnage has been tossed out early. Luckily it was the side with the lumberjacks and not the convicts.

Philly: Luckily? I am not so sure Carnage is feeling very lucky right now. Those lumberjacks aren't taking it easy on him.

Indeed they weren't. Carnage was being pummeled from every side. They weren't letting him get to his feet, and all Lyonell could do was grin. The ref started the ten count. Carnage knew he had to try something, or else this thing would end early. The ref was up to five, and that's when Carnage made his move. As one of the lumberjacks got ready to kick him again, he grabbed his foot and tripped him up. This cause a chain reaction of sorts, and all five lumberjacks tripped over one another. As they were disoriented, Carnage quickly got up and slid back into the ring. Lyonell couldn't believe it.

Question Mark: Carnage being quite resourceful there Philly.

Philly: Quite lucky if you ask me.

Lyonell was back on the attack. He wasn't about to let Carnage get back in this thing. He had another major title to add to his legacy, and nothing was gonna stop him. After a couple quick boots to the gut, he picked Carnage up and tried whipping him over the ropes again, but this time Carnage stopped it. He then hooked Lyonell around the waiste and hit a belly to back suplex. Carnage was hurt from that move just as bad as Lyonell though, as his ribs felt like they were going to rip from his body. Carnage backed up into the ropes holding his side, when he felt a hand around his ankle. He quickly got away from the ropes and saw he was on the convict side. One of them blew Carnage a kiss.

Question Mark: Just another one of the hazards in this match. The felons tried pulling Carnage from the ring. I guess that's one way of doing it.

Philly: I think the big black one likes Carnage. Remind me to send them a wedding gift.

Question Mark: Lyonell back up. He sees Carnage distracted. What's going on now?

Lyonell looks up to his Genocidal Dream teammates. Battlestone grabs something and throws it down to Lyonell. It is a lead pipe. Carnage never sees it coming.

Question Mark: NO WAY! This is one of the unfair advantages Lyonell has over Carnage. His stablemates are on the second floor of this museum directly above the ring. They just threw down a pipe to Lyonell and he used it with deadly force.

Philly: Right between the eyes, man that was beautiful. Nothing better than a little unneccessary force to liven a match up.

Question Mark: I can't imagine Carnage coming back from a shot like that one. All Lyonell has to do now is pick him up, and toss him over. Then this match is done.

Lyonell can taste it. He can feel the Bar Room Brawl title in his grasp. It was hit time to shine once again. Genocidal Dream would once again prove their dominance over the competition.

The Mayor: Damnit, I can't believe he embarrassed me like that in front of the townsfolk. I am the mayor and nobody makes a fool out of me. Nobody.

Jenkins and the Mayor sat in a special roped off section on the main floor. The Mayor was seething and couldn't take his eyes off of Lyonell.

The Mayor: Now it looks like the miserable bastard is going to win. Uggggg, Jenkins, where are my pills?

Jenkins: Right here sir. You know, you really shouldn't take so many of those.

The Mayor: They help me to relax. I need my nerves calmed after that nonsense.

Jenkins: Look sir, Carnage is fighting back again. That should make you happy.

Carnage had been almost tossed out of the ring once more, but somehow he had enough sense to grab onto the top rope and hang on for dear life. Blood was pouring out of his stitches from the pipe shot. As Lyonell was struggling to untangle Carnage from the ropes, he felt his feet go out from under him. he fell onto his back and was immediatly pulled out of the ring. The convicts had gotten ahold of him.

The Mayor: Oh heavens yes, beat his ass. Woooooo Woooooo, now that is a beautiful sight if I have ever seen one. I only wish I had a camera. This maybe very un mayor like, but I don't care. Nobody mocks me and gets away with it.

The five convicts joined the other five convicts and started taking turns punching Lyonell. Carnage fell back into the ring and backed up into the center. The ref got in position and started administering the ten count. Genocidal Dream had a look of worry on their faces. Even Lyonell couldn't take on ten hardened criminals, now could he? They decided to make their move.

Jenkins: Ummmm sir, I think you may need a few more pills. All of Genocidal Dream is running for the ring.

The Mayor: Oh for the love of.......Alright Jenkins. I didn't want this to turn into a three ring circus, but I guess I have no choice now. Lyonell asked for this. I had no problems with him and was gonna let things be, but now everything is fair game. Make the call.

Jenkins: Sir? Are you sure?

The Mayor: DO IT NOW!

Jenkins: You're the boss.

Jenkins hops on his cell phone and places a call. Who was he calling and why?

Jenkins: Hello? Yes, it's a go. You have permission to enter the facilities. Just make sure you keep the damage to a minimum. Goodbye.

Question Mark: This has turned into an entirely different event Philly. All of Genocidal Dream has now become involved and are trying to fight off the convicts.

Philly: They don't need to beat the convicts, just get them off Lyonell long enough to get back into the ring. Oh, now the lumberjacks are heading over. They better hurry.

Battlestone, BJ Coles, and Switch Back were able to get most of the convicts off of Lyonell. Angelica was then able to grab Lyonell and roll him back into the ring right before the count of ten. The fans were livid. They wanted to see Lyonell beat once and for all. Once they knew Lyonell was safely back in, Genocidal Dream ran to safety.

Question Mark: Both men are spent. They are beat up and exhausted. Lyonell really got beat down out there before Genocidal Dream could make the save. Blood is now covering his face as well. I am not sure what else can happen in this thing.

As if the gods of war heard this statement, ten seperate ropes came down from the third floor. They were positioned right in the ring. Ten bodies came sliding down one by one. Cannibal, Deadline, BasketCase, Angel Hunter, Hype, Azareth Hell, Callisto, Brad Rhodes, Haley, and finally Silencer.

Question Mark: THE NETWORK IS HERE! THE NETWORK IS HERE! WHAT ON EARTH?
All the members of The Network filled the ring. The lumberjacks, convicts, and Genocidal Dream all looked on in shock. Lyonell's eyes focused just in time too see his main adversaries from the upcomming Stable Wars. Carnage was still out of it, but he could still make out the figures standing before him. It wasn't him they were after though. As if they were vultures circling their prey, they all converged at once on Lyonell taking the boots to him. Genocidal Dream didn't take long to break through the lumberjacks around the ring, and got in to try and even up the odds.

Philly: Oh my god, we are getting a full fledged preview of the upcomming Stable Wars. The Network versus Genocidal Dream.

Question Mark: As you know, Genocidal Dream has had problems with The Network in the UCE as of late. In fact, Lyonell and BasketCase have been exchanging words as of late. This is unreal, oh my goodness. Now all of the lumberjacks and convicts are entering the ring as well. I don't know if the ring can withstand all this beef.

Philly: What a final Bar Room Brawl battle. The ref just took a powder and got out of their.

Carnage on the other hand isn't so lucky. He can't avoid the fists and boots flying around.
It is a complete and utter madhouse in the ring. So much so, that indeed the ring does start creaking untill finally, it collaspes under the weight.

The Mayor and Jenkins watch on in wide eyed shock. Even they didn't think it would get this out of hand. The curator of the museum rushes over in a panic.

Museum Curator: Mayor, this is out of control You have to do something before they tear this whole place apart.

The Mayor: Are you kidding me? Do you know the ratings this has to be getting? Everyone is gonna wanna come to Bunyan Falls after this. Afterall, it's where the actions at. That's it. That's our new slogan. "Bunyan Falls, Come To Where The Actions At."

Jenkins: You are a genius sir.

Jenkins cell phone goes off unexpectedly.

Jenkins: Hello? You're kidding me right? Ok..........alright............thanks.

Jenkins hangs up with a worried expression on his face.

The Mayor: What is it Jenkins? You don't look so good.

Jenkins: Sir, may I suggest we leave the premises right this second? We aren't safe.

The Mayor: Of course we are safe. We have all these armed guards just standing by ready to shoot if neccessary.

Jenkins: I am not talking about the action in the ring. I am talking about the bomb threat I just received.

The Mayor: The what you just what?

Jenkins: I just received a bomb threat, and was told if everyone wasn't out of here in five minutes, their were going to be alot of bodies to sort through. Honestly sir, that isn't going to look good come election time. I suggest we announce that everyone file out in an orderly fashion.

The Mayor: But the event? Damnit, I knew something would go wrong.

Museum Curator: What are you talking about? Look in the ring, something has already gone wrong.

The Mayor: Quiet, I have heard just about as much as I can take out of you. I am the Mayor of this town, and I make the decisions. Damn, alright. Make the announcement Jenkins. I am going out the back entrance. Try and not blurt everything out so abruptly though. We don't need a stampede.

The Mayor gets to his feet and sneaks off for the back entrance. Jenkins heads for the ring area trying to be careful of avoiding all the carnage going on in the ring. He grabs a mic from ringside.

Jenkins: Excuse me everybody, please may I have your attention.

The action continues though. The fans are eating it up, so they pay no attention to Jenkins either.

Jenkins: Please everybody......awww the hell with it. THEIR IS A BOMB IN THE BUILDING, I REPEAT A BOMB IN THE BUILDING! YOU ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TO GET THE HELL OUT, OR YOU WILL PERISH IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! THAT IS ALL!

Knowing what was about to come, Jenkins ran for the hills. The museum curator just sighed knowing nothing could be done. Everyone took notice of the statement and started making for all the exits. People were pushing and shoving one another. Priceless displays were being destroyed. The armed guards started rounding up the inmates to make sure they didn't try to escape in all the confusion. The lumberjacks scattered from inside the broken ring. Dying was not on their schedule of events. All the broken down bodies of The Network and Genocidal Dream also made their way out. The only people that were left in the ring were Carnage and Lyonell. Neither one could move an inch. Bloodied and broken they just stared at one another.

Lyonell: So........you gonna let some F%$#^% bomb scare you out of the ring?

Carnage: Nope........ugggg......are you?

Lyonell: I am willing to die....doesn't F%$#&# bother me none.

Carnage: Me neither.....I probably won't last the night with all my........"cough cough" internal injuries anyway.

The Museum was a mess. Everyone had just about made it out except for a select few. Switch Back and Angelica were the only members left of Genocidal Dream still outside the ring.

Switch Back: We have to go now Lyonell. This thing is not worth dying for.

Lyonell: To hell it isn't. I never F%^$#@ quit no matter what.

Angelica: You're a damn fool Lyonell.

Lyonell: F%$# off bitch.

Switch Back: Fine, die then. We are outa here.

Lyonell: COWARDS!

Switch Back knew he couldn't leave Lyonell to just blow up. As much as most of the world would rejoice, it just wasn't in him to let it happen. He saw the pipe that Lyonell used earlier in the night. He grabbed it, got behind Lyonell, and walloped him in the back of the head knocking him cold. Angelica helped Switch drag Lyonell out of the ring, and they carried him out of the building.

Question Mark: Ladies and gentlemen, I am still here at my post. Philly ran the minute the word bomb came out of Jenkins mouth. I don't know if this is still being broadcast, but Carnage is still in the ring. Everyone else, including Lyonell, has filed out. The place is a shambles now. I think the Paul Bunyan Corpse Museum is going to be closed for quite sometime. Wait a second, here comes Phil Stone back into the museum and he has the ref with him. What is this all about?

Phil: Come on, let's go. You have nothing to worry about. Just make the ten count on Lyonell and you can go.

Ref: You're nuts. Out of your mind crazy.

Phil: You can either make the count and risk dying quickly, or I can drag your ass outside and kill ya slow. Your choice.

Reluctant, the ref obliges. He gets in the remains of the ring and starts the count.
Ref: 1.....2.....3.....4.....5....6.....7....8....9....10.......Ok are you happy now? Carnage wins the match. Now let me outa here.

Phil let's the ref go as he goes to check on Carnage.

Question Mark: Did I just see what I thought I saw? The ref just counted Lyonell out of the ring, and declared Carnage the August 2006 Bar Room Brawl Champion. What is going on? Well whatever it is, it will have to wait. I am outa here.

Not wanting to risk it any longer, Question Mark leaves his position and gets out of the museum fast. Phil leans down next to Carnage.

Phil: You know something man, bomb threats can come at the worst possible time.

Phil holds up his cell phone and smiles. Bloodied and battered, Carnage still manages a smile.
Carnage: As Lyonell would say.....UnF%$#&%believable.

The End!

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Stan Daniels

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Re: Just For The Hell Of It (2006 BRB Entries)

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